Live In Presence™
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...thoughts about how to be present in your entire life
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Would you choose to live in presence today?
NOTE: These are excerpts from my book on raising
consciousness that will be further edited prior to publication.
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Live In Presence™ Blog
1-29-2011
It is You in the Mirror
Those who are in relationships with you of whatever nature ARE you.
That means they are the exact reflection of your consciousness.
The point is that the "other people" out there that you consider
separate from you are actually very much one with you. We are
individualized expressions of oneness. If you think someone "out there"
caused a problem for you, you are simply creating separation from that
person in your consciousness. The way they appear to you in
consciousness is an attribute of YOUR consciousness.
This does not mean that they've done everything right.
It does not mean they have been right in an absolute sense.
The point is that the sole place you experience any aspect of your world is in
your mind/consciousness. So what do THEY have to do with
YOU? Everything. The way YOU see them is filtered through no
one's consciousness but yours. So if they appear to be "wrong" or
"disappointing" or anything else, that is what YOU think. You are
holding them in consciousness to be that way, and so it is.
Why remain stuck in the way YOU SEE the other? Yes, the
way YOU see her or him. You are projecting your own thinking on her/him
when you say "S/he is just that way."
They are responsible for their own growth. So what do
YOU do to support that growth? You transcend your false picture of them, allowing
them to join you in a higher state of consciousness. Why would you want
them to be held back in consciousness? Why do you hold them there, stuck
in the past picture of them that you imagine? Is the past what you want
from them and from yourself? Decide instead what you want and decide to
move up in consciousness.
Psychic work does not show you the full potential of your life and your
relationships. What it will show you, filtered through the
consciousness of the psychic and being limited in that way by it, is
only what
you will do in your relationships with others if you continue to live
with the thoughts and feelings you are holding now, whether loving or
non-loving.
You are stuck with your life if you
are stuck in your thinking and feeling about it. There is no way out
except through transcendence to presence. Only in presence will you find
love and happiness. You will be destined to repeat your old patterns for
as long as you hold onto them. Freedom arrives along with a RENEWED life
when you transcend your false pictures of separation from and blame of
others.
You can recreate your whole experience of a relationship from scratch if
you choose transcendence and, yes, it will be easier if the other person
joins you. If not, you can dance by yourself and see what happens. You
WILL reach a higher and greater good, even if you walk that path alone. But if you see the other person as "stuck," they will appear as you see
them in your consciousness. It won't help you to hold onto those
negative pictures that see them as stuck. Would you ALLOW them to join
you in Presence?
Remember, you have your own picture of what they are and they may or may
not be that. If you are fully present, the picture of them will be true,
but if not, you will only see what you imagine to be the case. If you
stay in resistance to your past with them, you may never see the truth. The only way to truth is through complete presence which is completely
loving, humble, giving, kind, forgiving, and peaceful. If
you feel any judgment at all, you are not present and you will not be
seeing things truly. Happiness will be your experience when you transcend your
judgment of the past with others.
So the path to the recreation of vital, loving and abundant
relationships is transcendence and presence, where you see the other
ONLY in the absolute highest consciousness, knowing and seeing the
divinity of them no matter what the outer picture says. You must be
patient. The outer pictures are fleeting but what they are is truly
eternal. See that and only that, not to get anything for yourself, but
to give all the love you have. All of it! You will be surprised to see
the beautiful consequences of your choice to love and to live in
presence with them no matter what. Your life will be one that is
blessed.
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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1-9-2011
Time: There are No Delays in a Life of
Presence
Time is one of the things that irritates us most - at times anyway!
I provided support in consciousness in a legal situation for a client that lasted for
several
years. That is not unusual of course for our government's courts. What
do these time delays mean? Are we creating the delays ourselves? Should
we just go with the flow or find ways to accelerate our successes?
The only thing we can do without "karmic buildup," is to do that which flows to us to do.
If we take actions out of frustration over "delays," we will end up
causing additional trouble for ourselves and others.
Patients who become frustrated with the rate at which the body heals
will often have things done to them and have things prescribed for them
to attempt to speed up the process of healing. Although some
drugs could potentially accelerate healing in theory, most simply
support the body in healing itself and can cause side effects. So what
happens when a patient gets yet one more drug? One more side effect may
appear, which could then further complicate and ironically slow down the
healing process. I've seen this in my practice numerous times.
What if you grow impatient with a relationship's progress? Does
it help to insist on your own rate of progress? Insistence is not
presence and is felt as the need to control, which is not perceived as
loving. Because it's not! A relationship, like a flower, has to open
naturally to feel good to both involved in it. This does not give cover
to the lack of commitment, which I've written about before. If one or
both in the relationship are delaying their commitment out of fear, then
time appears as a symptom of that fear.
We create time mentally. The length of time things take is determined by
us and society only due to our taking on society's norms as our own. When we do that, we create the exact
length of time
delay that we feel should occur.
If you think it will take a year to double your business, it will.
Your mind has created the full year and it is unavoidable, as
it is your very own thinking. Your world, being the exact reflection of
your consciousness, cannot become something that differs from your
thinking. Yes, that 100% responsibility thing pops up again and again!
But the good news is that being 100% responsible, you can allow and
commit to the changes you want in your life IN ANY MOMENT. You can do it
NOW! It is fortunately never too late to become conscious.
When I say we are responsible, I do not mean to imply blame.
Remember, from prior blog entries that we "know not what we do." This
does not absolve us of responsibility to correct things when we mess up,
but it does absolve us from walking around feeling guilty about messing
up. Guilt is based on our imagined "past" and steals presence from us.
Better to be present and make things right than to dwell on guilt. So
while we are responsible for the delays that crop up in our lives, that
does not mean we are to "blame" or that we cannot be present with those
delays.
It isn't even necessary to accelerate certain delays in life.
If the courts move at a certain rate, and you accept it, then
it need not eat away at you until the point of resolution. That
client's case I
referred to earlier was simply dropped by the way. If it had been insisted that the court rush the case, the outcome could have been
negative.
We'll never actually know for sure, but the point is that at times there
is a REASON for a delay in the healing of a relationship, your body, or
your financial situation. It is important to look at the
clarity of your thinking, but it is not necessary to extinguish every
delay that appears.
The key is to ask questions such as "Are you disturbed by the delay?" If
so, become present with that feeling and it will vanish and no longer
feed the delay. "Is your thinking clouded to a point that a
time delay would be inevitable?" "Do you lack a plan? If so, how can your life
move forward?"
If you are taking no action in regard to your goals, what
do you expect? By action, I do not mean taking unnecessary action. I am
talking about doing that which you are intuitively guided to do once
your mind is clear. Get quiet and then receive your direction from the
place the best ideas, greatest creativity, and direction arises, from
the one Source or God/Beingness.
Once your thinking is clear in regard to your entire life, you will be
guided intuitively in every action and you will never question whether a
delay is necessary or not. Until then, examine your reactions
to delays and your thoughts around time and how long you believe things
should take and you'll find Beingness/God accelerating your life in a
beautiful way where that makes sense. At other times, a delay will just
be part of your life, but is met by you from a place of Presence and
happiness. You come from a place of knowing "it is done" and it will
happen in perfect order, at the perfect time.
I wish for you that all apparent "delays" in your life be filled with
loving Presence. Ahhh, we finally have come to the crux of it!
"Delay" implies impatience! The ego is claiming that the time interval
we are calling a delay was not "supposed" to be in our life. When we are
present, there is only the passage of time and never a delay. Every
so-called delay was created by our thinking. If our thinking did not
create the delay, then the Universe could not possibly function
according to known spiritual law. What?? Spiritual law says that we get
what we ask for. So if we imagine a delay, we get it. If a delay is part
of our thinking, IT MUST manifest! Otherwise 2+2 would equal 5. Again,
the good news is that we can melt away SOME apparent delays simply by
clarifying our thinking. Others, like the length of the
normal 9 month pregnancy are "time intervals" that are an accepted part
of an unfolding life. As Robert Adams said "All is well
and everything is unfolding as it should."
So the real truth is that there are no delays. There are just time
intervals that are created through our thinking, consciously and/or
subconsciously. When you "feel" time passing, it is all about
your reaction to time. Transcending that reaction dissolves the creation
of time and may lead to instantaneous or rapid healing in many cases of
relationships, our bodies, and finances. And when it still appears to
"take time" it will not be felt as a delay. Why? There is no longer any
reaction.
How liberating is it to know that there were never any delays in your
life!
So what I truly wish for you is that your life and any apparent time
intervals are filled with loving Presence in each and every moment!
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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12-14-2010
Ending Robotic Speaking and Living
If you would like to learn to be more present
than ever, pay close attention to any repetitious speech and behavior
you may engage in.
If you repeat the same "lines" for one person as the next in a
similar situation, you may be acting like a robot. You may not
be listening to the person in front of you, because it is unlikely that
any two people would need to hear the exact same words. There could be
overlap sure, but it should not sound like you are repeating your CD #
247496 for them. Since we are all omniscient, not through our egos, but
through Beingness/God, those you speak to with a "line" can sense it.
Some people are trained to repeat the same words again and again
in their work. In fact, there are coaches who tell people in
sales to "Just repeat the exact words I give you and you will make the
sale!" It is possible, but you certainly would not feel like yourself
would you? Maybe in some circumstances that is what people need of
course and there is nothing wrong with starting where you are, but once
you get the "lines" down, you are not likely going to get to the
highest level of performance in ANYTHING without being spontaneously
engaged in conversation with your client, your associate, your boss,
your friend, or your lover.
Love making is another very good example. If you make
love to your significant other in exactly the same way each time, you
are likely being a robotic lover. When you enter a state of oneness with
what you truly are, you would be spontaneous and from there you would be
creative in your love making, never making love in exactly the same way
twice.
So from making sales to love making, Beingness is spontaneous.
Not rash, but spontaneous. By the way, making plans can be done
spontaneously too, so this is not about leading an impetuous life.
How do you "get there?" When you are one with
God/Beingness you are also spontaneous. When you quiet your
mind through transcendence, whether you use my methods or your own, from
that quiet you will be spontaneously creative and live a life that is
renewed in each moment.
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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11-04-2010
Are You Ready
to Hold up the Mirror and Gently Look at Yourself?
NOTE: This is an excerpt from
my book on raising consciousness that will be further edited prior to
publication. I would appreciate any feedback you
may have. If you would like to be sure to receive ALL my excerpts,
please sign up in the box above. Some excerpts will continue to appear here, while
others will be emailed as part of the newsletter. Thank you.
Are you truly ready to look at yourself
gently? Are
you ready to see everything that you are, both what you see as good and
what you see as not so great?
It is hard sometimes to take that mirror and turn it back on ourselves,
but what is one of the greatest hints that gives us new freedom in life?
The big hint that guides us to our inner work is this: A
Repeating Pattern. One repetition of a pattern of behavior, no
matter how insignificant, is a sign of a potential block in our
consciousness.
I'll give you an example. A common complaint of many people
appears to be that the opposite sex is not committed to or does not act
in a committed way in their relationship. Whether this is more true for women than for
men does not matter. There are both men and women who feel this way.
So why would Jessica complain about the opposite sex not being
committed? Because she was just in a relationship where the man
behaved exactly that way – uncommitted. Why did he? Because her
consciousness was connecting to "uncommitted men." Jessica was
connecting to and manifesting in her consciousness an uncommitted man.
So he "showed up."
Why would that be, when Jessica herself says her goal is to be "in an
unconditionally loving and committed relationship?" If you look at the
"Theory of Presence Page," you will see the answer. Her experience
flowed directly from her prior feelings and thoughts from her past. The
past by the way, included all her thoughts about her imagined future as
well. We condition our minds every time we make assumptions about
"what
will happen in the future." Those thoughts of the future simply become
part of our past thinking that creates our future.
Our current experience is always the sum total of our
consciousness on whatever issue we are focused. Feelings and thoughts
lead to the creation of our EXPERIENCE. It is a law of this
world as unavoidable as gravity.
Jessica's consciousness was directly creative through
the one Source, which you may call the Universe or God, of an
uncommitted man. So she got what she asked for. Well she didn't really ask for
it directly. She asked for it "subconsciously" through
the sum total of her conscious and subconscious thoughts about
commitment in relationships.
Did she deserve the lack of commitment? No. Did she
hold it in her consciousness thereby allowing for its creation in her
experience? Yes.
Now why would she say one thing and bring in another thing that seems to
be the opposite of what she wanted?
Because she has numerous unexplored thoughts about her past experiences
with men, about what other women have told her is true about men, about what her
parents have told her about relationships, about what she read in
magazines about men and relationships, and so on. That sum total said:
"I believe that I will manifest a man who is uncommitted to me." You get in life
ONLY WHAT YOU ASK FOR consciously or unconsciously or both.
A conscious being only manifests what s/he holds in mind as a single and
unconfused thought. Presence on a subject leads to clear thinking and
conscious creation, not as a separated being, but as a being who is one
with ALL.
Remember that it does not matter whether she WANTS uncommitted men and
is committing self-sabotage or that she is ADVERSE to uncommitted men. When
she does her inner work, Jessica may find that she is the uncommitted
one in relationships and simply matches up with the same energy,
refusing to ever commit her whole heart to anyone.
Our world is simply a reflection of our consciousness. But BOTH an
attachment AND an aversion will add to our total consciousness on the
matter under consideration and lead to the CREATION of what we hold as
our "net
consciousness" or "net thinking."
On the attachment side, if Jessica is attached to commitment, she will tend to
push it away. People who chase the opposite sex tend to accomplish the
opposite.
On the other hand, if Jessica is adverse to the lack of commitment, she
will tend to manifest uncommitted men to challenge that unexplored
feeling. If she is secretly adverse to commitment, but confused about
whether she wants or does not want commitment herself, she may
bring in a truly committed man and then reject him and the relationship
once she has it within reach. It is simple self-sabotage.
Refusing that which you ultimately want due to unexamined thoughts and feelings. It
could be due to the fear of failure of relationships. There are many
possible reasons for the mental pattern. So a pattern appears in
Jessica's life. She never commits herself and feels it's the men who
lack commitment.
If we are experiencing separation in a relationship or outside of one,
it is because that is what we are holding in our consciousness. Separation is the sum total of our thinking on that particular
relationship or on having a relationship in general. So separation is
all we can manifest until we transcend our thoughts and feelings ABOUT
separation. Then we are FREE to allow what is it we TRULY want in life,
not the junk our confused consciousness has been creating. Only then can
we make a clear assessment of the relationship. Confusion comes from
having conflicted thoughts that we have not bothered to write down or
otherwise examine through a process of transcendence.
CONFUSION is the source of CREATION of what we don't want in life. If
you say "I do want to have a man who is committed to me," and you are also
thinking "I don't want a man to be committed to me, because I'm not
ready to commit myself," what is the Universe supposed to give you?
It
gives you your NET THINKING as I call it.
To be more precise, you GET your net thinking AND feeling,
because our feelings are the power behind our thoughts.
You cannot transcend a thought. You CAN transcend a feeling. Then the thought no longer binds you. The thought and the pattern that
we were previously stuck with lose all power. We suddenly are
unstuck and FREE to truly live and love!
We
transcend our thoughts by transcending the feelings associated with
them. That is freedom.
When our results do not match our expectations, we simply go back to
examine those thoughts and feelings that gave rise to the undesired
experience. We don't need to be a "Repeater." You
are NOT that as long as you choose freedom over the past.
When we address our thinking and feeling about a subject and
transcend it using the Feeling Transcendence Process™, the Full
Realization Process™ or any other process that allows for the
transcendence of our FEELINGS underlying our thoughts, we find
we are FREE TO HAVE WHAT WE SAY WE WANT and we STOP MANIFESTING WHAT WE
DO NOT WANT.
It is no more complicated than that. It is hard to face our thoughts and
feelings at times. It can hurt to see our past with clear eyes. It
can even bring up grief. I am prepared to support you in that, if you choose
to do so with me. But whatever you do, I would advise that you look at
any pattern in your life (anything that has repeated even a SINGLE time)
and examine it gently in terms of your associated thinking and feeling.
Transcend your "mental garbage" from the past and be free to manifest
what you truly want.
This approach is one powerful way to stop being a "Repeater." It is not
our fault that we repeat a pattern. If we repeat a pattern of non-loving
interaction, it is because we had a moment of unconsciousness. SO WHAT?
We ALL have these moments until we don't. Do NOT be critical of
yourself for "not getting it before." You were not supposed to get it
before. Otherwise you would have! You did your best. We have always done our
best, even at the times our life seems most "sloppy" to us as we look back.
Be gentle with yourself. You deserve that gentle love that accepts you
the way you are right now. Self-criticism is the ego trying to defeat us
before we begin the work of holding the mirror up and truly seeing
ourselves.
I guarantee that once you commit to holding the mirror
up to see your unexamined thoughts and feelings,
what you will find will be TRULY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING YOU
HAVE EVER SEEN.
You are THAT beautiful Being.
I have never held a grudge. I've fortunately never been able to hold
onto the past in regard to anyone who has ever been in my life in any
capacity. Why? I am able to sense and connect to the Beingness of each
person no matter what has happened between us. It is a gift that we can
all uncover.
You can access that forgiveness equally well. Forgiveness is the nature
of Beingness. And we are that Beingness. Forgiveness must also extend to
us. Forgiveness of ourselves often precedes our transformation to a
higher place of consciousness and understanding.
The good news is this: You were born into this world with the innate
ability to transcend your limiting thoughts and feelings. That is
"grace" operating, continually driving you and me back to our true,
loving selves, emerging from our separation and hurt and uniting us in
ONENESS with everyone.
So hold up the mirror and do it gently if you choose to be free. Look for any repetition
of a pattern one or more times in your experiences in any area of your
life. Those "repeater" patterns can be eliminated. If you see even ONE
REPETITION of ANYTHING in your life AND it is something that opposes what
you truly want in life, you likely have a negative and limiting pattern
operating. It's fine. Patterns do not define you any more than a
computer is defined by a program operating in it. You eliminate the
program from the computer and suddenly the computer lives a happy life. The prior program is GONE.
My advanced pattern transcendence methods, which I can
teach you, remove these patterns completely. I know this by direct
experience with my own consciousness and by working with many others. No
one needs to be subject to patterns from the past.
Whatever method you bring to bear on "Repeater" patterns, you can be
done with them. Someone close to me pointed out that how you get there
is not the key. It isn't. It is the operation of our free will to raise
our consciousness that is most important. It is our choice to be free or
bound to our imagined past and our imagined future. Whether I work with
you directly or not does not matter, although I am available to you.
You
have all my love, and I support you in your newly found Freedom.
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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10-31-2010
Children on Halloween
I wanted to comment around Halloween on the beauty of children and what
they teach us about Presence. Children are one of the greatest gifts to
adults, because they repeatedly demonstrate true spontaneity and joy.
From Beingness or Presence comes spontaneity, because Beingness is just
being itself. When a child is simply being what the child is in the
moment, he or she does not look around for approval from others.
There are no games at all. Well, there is one, and that is simply
the game being played!
Children do of course break away from their sense of Presence at times,
but they often return to Presence much more quickly than adults, because
of their propensity to forgive more quickly.
If you live in the moment, why would you hold a grudge against Bobby who
just threw a ball that hit you in the head or from Jessica who squirted
you in the face with a water gun? There could be an initial reaction,
but the spontaneity of a child quickly returns him or her to simply
being Present with his or her friends. When a child becomes upset, there
is often a very natural expression of the feeling that arises in the
moment followed by transcendence and forgiveness. It's a beautiful
thing. Children prove that presence is a natural phenomenon.
Beingness is spontaneously joyous. Do you know of an adult that would
come jumping across the room and flail over your body as if you were a
mattress while giggling? Fortunately, some adults do things like that,
but my last experience of that was with a beautiful young boy who
exhibited just this sort of love and spontaneity. These moments are
precious because they ARE presence itself revealing itself to us.
His
presence was a great gift. The expression of joy by a little boy
connects you with your own joy and sense of Being. It is what every
parent knows to be priceless. It is Beingness manifesting. When you see
it and feel it, you connect with your true self.
So on Halloween, you may want to take the time to appreciate the smiles
of the children that come to your house if you are so lucky. Notice the
beaming smiles of Beingness on your doorstep. Children are our guides asking
us to love and to live in presence with them.
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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10-29-2010
True Love
What is true love? It's not actually
the romantic love that is generally depicted in movies. True love is unconditional love. But what does unconditional love
"feel like?"
By definition, we must love without conditions. Now
this may be the hard part for the ego. To experience true love, we need
to have the same feeling and depth of love for everyone. This has
nothing to do with special aspects of your personal relationships with
your mate, your children, your personal friends, or your business
partners. Special aspects would include making love with your
significant other, spending time raising your children, loaning property
to a friend or going over to their house for dinner, and so on.
That said, when you are unconditionally loving:
You feel the same degree of love for every child as you feel for your
own child.
You feel the same degree of love for every woman as you feel for your
own sister.
You feel the same degree of love for every man as you feel for your own
brother.
You feel the same degree of love for everyone as you feel for your own
best friend.
You love every child, woman, and man equally.
You love yourself as much as you love everyone else.
No, we are not about to leave YOU out of it. YOU
deserve love equally to all those you love.
The ego may immediately find objections. Those objections separate us
from true love.
If we watch for our resistance to loving everyone equally, we
will expand our consciousness and we become a great blessing to everyone
we meet, greeting them with an unconditionally loving consciousness.
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9-29-2010
When you act in a non-loving way, how can you
turn it around and experience forgiveness?
An act of "bad" behavior can turn to "good"
when turned around.
As an example, say you misbehave in some way in regard to
another person, and say or do something you regret. The
Universe in the form of that other person will often "call you" on your
negativity, right?
And then what happens? You either notice that they are
right, and in fact you have overstepped in an instance of poor behavior,
or you bury your head in the sand, defensively denying any truth in what
they are telling you.
We have the choice to go UP or DOWN in life in the moment that
we respond to the consequences of our transgression. When we
redirect our attention to Presence with the issue at hand, we will do
the right thing, say the right thing, and allow for the highest good to
flow from our transgression whether the other person is able to forgive
us at that point or not.
In fact, the person we offended may or may not decide to forgive
us. It is not our business whether they do or don't do so.
Attempting to "get forgiveness from them" would just be an act of
attempting to control that person. We need to work within ourselves to
find forgiveness. That's where it ultimately arises.
Jesus forgave murderers even though they were NOT forgiven by
men and women who simply were unable to forgive. They were
in judgment. So in the same way, YOUR forgiveness does not depend on
what the other person does. If they choose to remain in judgment, what
would you do?
You are responsible for your own forgiveness
whether or not it involves specific actions on your part to make things
right.
You must make things right by transcending
your feelings about the event INSIDE regardless of all
actions and speech OUTSIDE.
If we do our own internal work while dropping
any tendency for self-beating, which only further augments our egos, we
will find peace on the matter with or without the other person's
forgiveness. In the end, they will come to forgiveness only
when we have. They may not, but at least WE are not in the way.
We take responsibility for the thoughts and
feelings within us that gave rise to our poor choice of words or action
and find that forgiveness does follow our transcendence.
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9-18-2010
Surprises Flow from the
Nature of Presence
I like to write about how Presence appears in
life, what it looks like and feels like, so here is my take on how
surprises flow from the nature of Presence through us to others.
Surprises are something that we all seem to
enjoy.
Why is that? It is because
surprises are unexpected, which means that from the viewpoint of the
person who is joyfully surprised, they had no expectation that what you
brought to them or did for them or said to them was coming.
Why do surprises flow from the nature of
Presence? Because Presence is NOW. Presence is
spontaneous and not busy evaluating itself, others, or the world.
Presence is just spontaneously experiencing life waiting to
SURPRISE AND BE
SURPRISED by its beauty.
So what about the one who is the immediate
source of the surprise? Well, to truly create surprise,
it is best if you are surprised by it too. In other words, when
the idea comes to you to do something nice and unexpected for someone,
just let it happen through you. Just be the vehicle through which
a surprise appears. Become the delivery vehicle of
happiness.
And expect nothing. If you
expect something in return for your surprise, it's no longer a surprise
for both of you. It's no longer truly spontaneous.
Now I'll agree that you can start by consciously
wanting to surprise someone you care about, but then try to learn to
take the spontaneous cues and even the unknowing hints others drop and turn them into surprises.
They are hints when you are listening; they are missed, when you are
not.
The way you feel when you deliver a surprise
from Presence is joyous. You feel as if you just let it
happen and it happened to happen through YOU.
Surprise is also critical to business
success. People you do business with love surprises too.
I remember how impressed I was that a
particular medical group sent our office cookies. The
size of the gesture does not have to be great; the love behind it does.
Only a few groups made that effort. Those were the ones who understood how
much we were doing for them and knew how much they wanted to simply
surprise and thank us for making their professional lives easier.
You can surprise someone even with a
surprisingly positive comment. Or with a surprising gift.
Or by offering help to someone who is moving.
Surprises need not
be purchased. A surprise kiss, a surprise hug, a surprise offer of
help, a surprise visit to the playground (who knows it might even work
for your significant other if you go on the swings together), a surprise
offer to go for a walk with a friend - how much do those cost?
And by the way, don't give advanced notice of
your surprise. Don't call ahead or drop any hints. It's a
surprise!
Presence is spontaneous and surprising and
willing to be surprised.
If you do not see the spontaneity of surprise arising in your
personal, work, and family relationships, you have room for a
SURPRISE!!!
Email me back at
David@FullyRealized.com and
let me know how this worked for you in your life. I'll share stories
from those who would like to help others by sharing their personal
moments of Presence. You may do so anonymously if you like.
May your life be full of joyous surprises,
both given and received!
Would you choose to live in presence today?
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9-16-2010
The End of Suffering
and the Source of Happiness
To the extent that we feel we need approval from
others and the world, to the extent to which we feel we must control the
world, and to the extent to which we feel we need to be safe from the
world, we will suffer. Those beliefs cause our suffering.
To the extent that we feel loved and the
ability to give love, to the extent that we feel that we do not need to
take control, but can simply live our lives from open and giving hearts,
and to the extent that we feel we are safe, non-reactive, and eternal,
to that extent we will experience the freedom and the happiness that is
our natural state of being.
9-11-2010
On Close Personal and
Business Relationships: Are You "Making a Deal" or Being Loving Toward the
Other Person and Yourself?
When you meet someone
or are considering a business partnership with someone, you are allowing
an "energy" into your life to raise your consciousness to the next
level.
Be patient and notice what is
there. Are they loving? Do they love you as you are
or do they seek to change you? Do you love them as they are or do
you seek to change them? It goes both ways and these two
questions are perhaps the most important questions of all.
For business relationships you could
use the words "Do they see things the way you do or do you seek
to change them?" "Do they seek to change you?"
People do change, but they do so on their own
ultimately and they may never change for you in particular or ever in
their lifetime. They may be stuck and unable to see they
are hiding behind deeply engrained patterns of limitation.
Before you decide you will "rescue them,"
as mentioned in my prior note below, realize that if you seek to change
them, they will feel that as non-loving. It will likely cause
conflict between the two of you.
You say "But I do care for them or
enjoy doing business with them even though there are things I do not
like about them now." First, be sure of that. Be sure you
are not accepting a mixture of things you like and compromising the
things you do not like to "make the deal happen."
In personal relationships,
are you trading off enjoying someone's company and a physical
relationship for a real lack of commitment to a relationship by the
other person? If so, you've made a deal. We often pay for
those deals through our own suffering once things fall apart.
If you make a deal that compromises "who you
are," you may be disappointed down the line when you finally see you
cannot change that which you do not like about the other person and that
they are unwilling to change. This goes for personal and
work relationships alike. Some could decide to change for sure.
We like to hope and wait for the best, but will it? That is up to
them, not you.
In close business and personal relationships
particularly, your ability to tolerate things "you do not like"
in the other may give way to discontent down the line. Discontent
then gives rise to conflict and conflict may give rise to divorce or the
dissolution of a business partnership.
You may be able to tolerate a big difference
in opinion in someone who buys goods from you. That may
not be true if you provide services that require a lot of interaction
with the client, and it also unlikely to be true for your close personal
relationships.
Do you need to ask someone you are
dating if they like shooting deer in the Fall? You had better ask
then. Do you need to ask a potential business
partner if they are willing to travel a lot as the business grows?
You had better ask then.
So the point is that you need to ask what is
important to you BEFORE you solidify a relationship or make an important
commitment. So many people fail to "observe with open
eyes" or ask the THEIR important questions with an open
heart prior to moving forward. They gloss over
their true feelings and decide to make a "deal."
If it "does not feel right," respect
that and look deeper to see why. See if you truly resonate with
the other person's views and with what they want in a life with you or
in a business relationship. If not, you need to move on
and not spend time attempting to mold the other into the form you want
them.
Move forward only with those people who
resonate with you in all the important areas of life. It
has been said "Keep holy company." You need to determine what that
is for you.
This does not mean the other person's
viewpoint is "wrong." Your own values may be upside down
rather than theirs, but how will it help them if you are not honest
about what you want, even if you are one of the most materialistic
people on the planet?
That works both ways. You are not
"wrong" and they are not "wrong." The two of you
are just not in resonance.
Don't attempt to blame someone for being what
they are. They are "doing what they are doing."
It may not seem right, but you cannot force change on them.
Your differing point of view just means you
see life differently. You may expect more of yourself
than they do, but you'll have to accept what they want NOW is all they
want NOW.
If you look at the start to be sure
that "resonance of Being" with the other is there, it's far easier than
trying to "fix the other" after the fact when they don't share your
point of view. And it's far easier on both of you to end a
relationship earlier than it is to do it later.
Finally, a note for those who "are already
committed." And this applies equally to those who are unable to
commit to anyone. Look at your past results. Have
you been able to commit to personal relationships or not? If
you haven't or if you have a pattern of "leaving relationships"
don't use the above "resonance seeking process" to "cop out." If
you have patterns operating in you that are causing separation between
you and the one you say or said you loved, please be willing to
look at yourself and not write it all off to "Well, we just don't or
didn't resonate! Too bad."
Maybe you would resonate if you decided to be
more loving. So decide to look at your own anger and
frustration, your own feelings of lack, your own self-imposed
limitations, before giving up. Start with yourself.
Start with your own consciousness. Having done all that
"work" on yourself, if you find yourself in a loving space without fear
or attachment, decide what you will then do from that place of peace.
If you are fearful or attached, find a way to
get past that whether it is through the methods I teach or
another approach, and then decide what you will do about your
relationship.
If you do not open your heart before you
leave a relationship, either business or personal, you will survive of
course, but you may miss a great opportunity for love right where you
are now or a great business partnership.
I am not telling you to regret errors. I'm
saying be present with what you have before you now and decide
with an open heart, not one burdened by limiting patterns.
You will know what those limiting patterns are by looking
at yourself or by asking someone else to point them out to you
if you are open to doing "your work." You do the best you can.
That is all anyone can expect.
In 10 years, you may see that "I
could have stayed and loved," but now you can't. Or in 10 years
you may say, "I should have left 10 years earlier." Just
do your best to decide about any relationship from presence, which means
from love.
And if you are the one left behind while the
other leaves with a closed heart or in lust? Again it
helps to know that you cannot ultimately fix the other. You must
find a way to love them whatever they do unconsciously as well as
consciously. Allow them to find their own way back to conscious
presence.
I "get" that this can be a difficult process, even
painful. It passes when you bring your awareness to it.
I know that by direct experience, which is the way you will
know it equally.
I wish you all the love in the world.
Feel free to send comments and questions
to my email address on the homepage and indicate if you are OK
to share that here. You can also "like" my FaceBook page Live In
Presence and enter comments once you've "liked" the page. (see
below to "like" it!)
9-2-2010
When You Feel Like Fixing the
One You Say You
Love
When you ask someone for permission to offer help, whether
it is your child or your significant other or a complete stranger, you are
allowing them their "Beingness." You are respecting their right to
choose or reject what it is you offer. If you do not do that, you are
sending the message "You are not whole the way you are, and I'm going to fix
you whether you want to be fixed or not."
And why would you give something that was being
rejected? That satisfies the ego's interest to seek control over
others. But it does not work and it angers the person you say you love
and frustrates you when you do it. Even if it "works," they may
resent you.
So when you are lacking presence by seeking to fix
someone else and are not OK with what they are doing, first get to a
place of presence by whatever method you choose. Drop your
resistance to what they are doing. Resistance is non-love.
You love them first and accept that they are "doing what they are doing"
and that you may or may not be able to help them change it. At the same time, you move out of
harms way if needed, because you must love yourself too.
Once present, you will be unconditionally
loving of the other person and accepting of whatever decision they make
in regard to your "offer to help." You will know that "what they
need help with" is just a temporary manifestation in their life and
consciousness and this too shall pass. You are there to give help,
support and love to them ONLY IF they wish to accept it from you, while loving
yourself and respecting your
own right to be loved.
Without permission, helping is "fixing" energy.
It is your energy of "wanting to fix" against an energy of "not wanting
to be fixed" if they are not ready and willing.
In summary, consider dropping the push in you that needs to help.
Become present and then compassionately listen to the one you say you
love, offering help only after asking permission.
8-31-10
When you offer your help to someone, ask their permission
first before telling them anything about their consciousness. Otherwise you
and they may miss a great opportunity for growth together.
8-28-10
Jack Canfield
posted this David Frost quote on his FaceBook Page today: "Don't aim for
success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will
come naturally." - David Frost
Here is my take on it: I believe that David Frost's advice works because you cannot be in
alignment or LOVE that which you are bad at. This strategy matches up your
gifts with the needs of the Universe, which when met, results in abundance.
It is effortless that way and feels "hard" when you do it intellectually as
in "What should I do? Let me figure out what I love logically." That is the
most common error people make in connecting with their highest good in life.
They choose from their mind, not their heart.
8-27-2010
"Forgive them for they know not what they do." One of the most
powerful quotes Jesus made in that it allows for conscious discrimination.
If you react to someone, you are making a claim that they know better. They
don't. They are doing their best. Although they will in the end be held
accountable for what they've done, the fact is that they are unconscious.
For what conscious person would hurt another? Forgiving them means
transcending your aversion to them/your hatred of them. Do it for
yourself. If they eventually understand what they have done by becoming
conscious, that will be a bonus.
8-23-2010
When you feel you have been "pulled out" of
presence, be gentle on yourself. It was supposed to happen. It is due to
some energy about something that you were simply unaware of until the moment
you felt that "pull." When it happens, just decide CONSCIOUSLY to return
your attention to presence. And you are back, being yourself.
8-22-2010
Want to get along better with people?
Allow them to be the way they are. When we resist the way someone is, even
if their behavior is objectionable to most, we are communicating resistance
to them. The message is most bluntly put: "I hate you, now change." That'll
work! NOT!
"Being your true self" requires that you allow others to be
what they are in this moment, not once they've changed. If you think they need
your help BEFORE your love, you are not Present. Get quiet. Love them as they are. And THEN see if they want to change or
not. If not, you are still stuck with allowing them to be the way they are!
So you may as well start by loving them NOW.
8-19-2010
The sense of your existence will never leave
you, no matter how often and how long you are absent from your life. That is
your "eternality."
7-31-2010
Don't seek a new "state" to replace an old
"state." What does that mean? Many try to "feel good" because they "feel
bad." In Presence, feeling good comes naturally, because it's the real you
coming forth. If you think you have to "do this" or "get that" to "feel
happy," what you will do is bounce like a yo-yo from feeling sad to glad to sad to glad. Exhausting isn't it?
7-28-2010
In Presence you are not doing any
process, thinking positive thoughts, saying positive affirmations, seeking
or acquiring any state, or focusing on feeling wonderful, but rather, you
are just being you or "Presence" itself. Those other things are absolutely
fine and may be going on while you remain present, but they are not the
essence of you. They come and go, and you do not!
7-27-2010
Instead of "being something," just be
what you truly are - be and live a life in presence. I have an example of that.
People interesting in investing tell me "I'm a Bull" or "I'm a Bear." That
is a good way to be pulled by your emotions into losing investments. Instead
of being either Bull or Bear, why not just Be. From there your abundance
will follow.
_______________________________________________________________________
Feel free to send questions or comments about the
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Thank you again for visiting.
© 2010-2014 David B.
Durand, M.D. All rights reserved.
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