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...thoughts about how to be present in your entire life

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Would you choose to live in presence today?

NOTE: These are excerpts from my book on raising consciousness that will be further edited prior to publication.  I would appreciate any feedback you may have, which you can send via the Contact Me box at the base of this page.  Also, be sure to sign up for my free E-newsletter called "Questions of Consciousness™" by signing up with the form below the current post.  That way you'll get an email to notify you of my blog posts as well as interesting questions and answers about Consciousness.

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It is You in the Mirror

Those who are in relationships with you of whatever nature ARE you. 
That means they are the exact reflection of your consciousness.

The point is that the "other people" out there that you consider separate from you are actually very much one with you.  We are individualized expressions of oneness.  If you think someone "out there" caused a problem for you, you are simply creating separation from that person in your consciousness.  The way they appear to you in consciousness is an attribute of YOUR consciousness.

This does not mean that they've done everything right.  It does not mean they have been right in an absolute sense.  The point is that the sole place you experience any aspect of your world is in your mind/consciousness.  So what do THEY have to do with YOU?  Everything.  The way YOU see them is filtered through no one's consciousness but yours.  So if they appear to be "wrong" or "disappointing" or anything else, that is what YOU think.  You are holding them in consciousness to be that way, and so it is.

Why remain stuck in the way YOU SEE the other? Yes, the way YOU see her or him.  You are projecting your own thinking on her/him when you say "S/he is just that way."

They are responsible for their own growth.  So what do YOU do to support that growth?  You transcend your false picture of them, allowing them to join you in a higher state of consciousness.  Why would you want them to be held back in consciousness?  Why do you hold them there, stuck in the past picture of them that you imagine?  Is the past what you want from them and from yourself?  Decide instead what you want and decide to move up in consciousness.

Psychic work does not show you the full potential of your life and your relationships.  What it will show you, filtered through the consciousness of the psychic and being limited in that way by it, is only what you will do in your relationships with others if you continue to live with the thoughts and feelings you are holding now, whether loving or non-loving.

You are stuck with your life if you are stuck in your thinking and feeling about it.  There is no way out except through transcendence to presence.  Only in presence will you find love and happiness.  You will be destined to repeat your old patterns for as long as you hold onto them.  Freedom arrives along with a RENEWED life when you transcend your false pictures of separation from and blame of others.

You can recreate your whole experience of a relationship from scratch if you choose transcendence and, yes, it will be easier if the other person joins you.  If not, you can dance by yourself and see what happens.  You WILL reach a higher and greater good, even if you walk that path alone.  But if you see the other person as "stuck," they will appear as you see them in your consciousness.  It won't help you to hold onto those negative pictures that see them as stuck.  Would you ALLOW them to join you in Presence?

Remember, you have your own picture of what they are and they may or may not be that.  If you are fully present, the picture of them will be true, but if not, you will only see what you imagine to be the case.  If you stay in resistance to your past with them, you may never see the truth.  The only way to truth is through complete presence which is completely loving, humble, giving, kind, forgiving, and peaceful.  If you feel any judgment at all, you are not present and you will not be seeing things truly.  Happiness will be your experience when you transcend your judgment of the past with others.

So the path to the recreation of vital, loving and abundant relationships is transcendence and presence, where you see the other ONLY in the absolute highest consciousness, knowing and seeing the divinity of them no matter what the outer picture says.  You must be patient.  The outer pictures are fleeting but what they are is truly eternal.  See that and only that, not to get anything for yourself, but to give all the love you have.  All of it!  You will be surprised to see the beautiful consequences of your choice to love and to live in presence with them no matter what.  Your life will be one that is blessed.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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Time: There are No Delays in a Life of Presence

Time is one of the things that irritates us most - at times anyway! 
I provided support in consciousness in a legal situation for a client that lasted for several years. That is not unusual of course for our government's courts. What do these time delays mean? Are we creating the delays ourselves? Should we just go with the flow or find ways to accelerate our successes?

The only thing we can do without "karmic buildup,"
is to do that which flows to us to do. If we take actions out of frustration over "delays," we will end up causing additional trouble for ourselves and others.

Patients who become frustrated with the rate at which the body heals will often have things done to them and have things prescribed for them to attempt to speed up the process of healing.
Although some drugs could potentially accelerate healing in theory, most simply support the body in healing itself and can cause side effects. So what happens when a patient gets yet one more drug? One more side effect may appear, which could then further complicate and ironically slow down the healing process. I've seen this in my practice numerous times.

What if you grow impatient with a relationship's progress?
Does it help to insist on your own rate of progress? Insistence is not presence and is felt as the need to control, which is not perceived as loving. Because it's not! A relationship, like a flower, has to open naturally to feel good to both involved in it. This does not give cover to the lack of commitment, which I've written about before. If one or both in the relationship are delaying their commitment out of fear, then time appears as a symptom of that fear.

We create time mentally. The length of time things take is determined by us and society only due to our taking on society's norms as our own.
When we do that, we create the exact length of time delay that we feel should occur.

If you think it will take a year to double your business, it will.
Your mind has created the full year and it is unavoidable, as it is your very own thinking. Your world, being the exact reflection of your consciousness, cannot become something that differs from your thinking. Yes, that 100% responsibility thing pops up again and again! But the good news is that being 100% responsible, you can allow and commit to the changes you want in your life IN ANY MOMENT. You can do it NOW! It is fortunately never too late to become conscious.

When I say we are responsible, I do not mean to imply blame.
Remember, from prior blog entries that we "know not what we do." This does not absolve us of responsibility to correct things when we mess up, but it does absolve us from walking around feeling guilty about messing up. Guilt is based on our imagined "past" and steals presence from us. Better to be present and make things right than to dwell on guilt. So while we are responsible for the delays that crop up in our lives, that does not mean we are to "blame" or that we cannot be present with those delays.

It isn't even necessary to accelerate certain delays in life. 
If the courts move at a certain rate, and you accept it, then it need not eat away at you until the point of resolution.  That client's case I referred to earlier was simply dropped by the way.  If it had been insisted that the court rush the case, the outcome could have been negative.

We'll never actually know for sure, but the point is that at times there is a REASON for a delay in the healing of a relationship, your body, or your financial situation.
It is important to look at the clarity of your thinking, but it is not necessary to extinguish every delay that appears.

The key is to ask questions such as "Are you disturbed by the delay?" If so, become present with that feeling and it will vanish and no longer feed the delay. 
"Is your thinking clouded to a point that a time delay would be inevitable?" "Do you lack a plan?  If so, how can your life move forward?"

If you are taking no action in regard to your goals, what do you expect? By action, I do not mean taking unnecessary action. I am talking about doing that which you are intuitively guided to do once your mind is clear. Get quiet and then receive your direction from the place the best ideas, greatest creativity, and direction arises, from the one Source or God/Beingness.

Once your thinking is clear in regard to your entire life, you will be guided intuitively in every action and you will never question whether a delay is necessary or not.
Until then, examine your reactions to delays and your thoughts around time and how long you believe things should take and you'll find Beingness/God accelerating your life in a beautiful way where that makes sense. At other times, a delay will just be part of your life, but is met by you from a place of Presence and happiness. You come from a place of knowing "it is done" and it will happen in perfect order, at the perfect time.

I wish for you that all apparent "delays" in your life be filled with loving Presence.
Ahhh, we finally have come to the crux of it! "Delay" implies impatience! The ego is claiming that the time interval we are calling a delay was not "supposed" to be in our life. When we are present, there is only the passage of time and never a delay. Every so-called delay was created by our thinking.  If our thinking did not create the delay, then the Universe could not possibly function according to known spiritual law. What??  Spiritual law says that we get what we ask for.  So if we imagine a delay, we get it.  If a delay is part of our thinking, IT MUST manifest! Otherwise 2+2 would equal 5. Again, the good news is that we can melt away SOME apparent delays simply by clarifying our thinking.  Others, like the length of the normal 9 month pregnancy are "time intervals" that are an accepted part of an unfolding life.  As Robert Adams said "All is well and everything is unfolding as it should."

So the real truth is that there are no delays. There are just time intervals that are created through our thinking, consciously and/or subconsciously.
When you "feel" time passing, it is all about your reaction to time. Transcending that reaction dissolves the creation of time and may lead to instantaneous or rapid healing in many cases of relationships, our bodies, and finances. And when it still appears to "take time" it will not be felt as a delay. Why? There is no longer any reaction.

How liberating is it to know that there were never any delays in your life!

So what I truly wish for you is that your life and any apparent time intervals are filled with loving Presence in each and every moment!

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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Ending Robotic Speaking and Living

If you would like to learn to be more present than ever, pay close attention to any repetitious speech and behavior you may engage in.

If you repeat the same "lines" for one person as the next in a similar situation, you may be acting like a robot. You may not be listening to the person in front of you, because it is unlikely that any two people would need to hear the exact same words. There could be overlap sure, but it should not sound like you are repeating your CD # 247496 for them. Since we are all omniscient, not through our egos, but through Beingness/God, those you speak to with a "line" can sense it.

Some people are trained to repeat the same words again and again in their work. In fact, there are coaches who tell people in sales to "Just repeat the exact words I give you and you will make the sale!"  It is possible, but you certainly would not feel like yourself would you?  Maybe in some circumstances that is what people need of course and there is nothing wrong with starting where you are, but once you get the "lines" down, you are not likely going to get to the highest level of performance in ANYTHING without being spontaneously engaged in conversation with your client, your associate, your boss, your friend, or your lover.

Love making is another very good example. If you make love to your significant other in exactly the same way each time, you are likely being a robotic lover. When you enter a state of oneness with what you truly are, you would be spontaneous and from there you would be creative in your love making, never making love in exactly the same way twice.

So from making sales to love making, Beingness is spontaneous. Not rash, but spontaneous. By the way, making plans can be done spontaneously too, so this is not about leading an impetuous life.

How do you "get there?" When you are one with God/Beingness you are also spontaneous. When you quiet your mind through transcendence, whether you use my methods or your own, from that quiet you will be spontaneously creative and live a life that is renewed in each moment.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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Are You Ready to Hold up the Mirror and Gently Look at Yourself?

NOTE: This is an excerpt from my book on raising consciousness that will be further edited prior to publication.  I would appreciate any feedback you may have.  If you would like to be sure to receive ALL my excerpts, please sign up in the box above.  Some excerpts will continue to appear here, while others will be emailed as part of the newsletter. Thank you.

Are you truly ready to look at yourself gently?  Are you ready to see everything that you are, both what you see as good and what you see as not so great?

It is hard sometimes to take that mirror and turn it back on ourselves, but what is one of the greatest hints that gives us new freedom in life?

The big hint that guides us to our inner work is this: A Repeating Pattern.  One repetition of a pattern of behavior, no matter how insignificant, is a sign of a potential block in our consciousness.

I'll give you an example.  A common complaint of many people appears to be that the opposite sex is not committed to or does not act in a committed way in their relationship.  Whether this is more true for women than for men does not matter.  There are both men and women who feel this way.

So why would Jessica complain about the opposite sex not being committed?  Because she was just in a relationship where the man behaved exactly that way  – uncommitted. Why did he?  Because her consciousness was connecting to "uncommitted men."  Jessica was connecting to and manifesting in her consciousness an uncommitted man.  So he "showed up."

Why would that be, when Jessica herself says her goal is to be "in an unconditionally loving and committed relationship?"  If you look at the "Theory of Presence Page," you will see the answer.  Her experience flowed directly from her prior feelings and thoughts from her past.  The past by the way, included all her thoughts about her imagined future as well.  We condition our minds every time we make assumptions about "what will happen in the future."  Those thoughts of the future simply become part of our past thinking that creates our future.

Our current experience is always the sum total of our consciousness on whatever issue we are focused.  Feelings and thoughts lead to the creation of our EXPERIENCE.  It is a law of this world as unavoidable as gravity.

Jessica's consciousness was directly creative through the one Source, which you may call the Universe or God, of an uncommitted man.  So she got what she asked for.  Well she didn't really ask for it directly.  She asked for it "subconsciously" through the sum total of her conscious and subconscious thoughts about commitment in relationships.

Did she deserve the lack of commitment?  No.  Did she hold it in her consciousness thereby allowing for its creation in her experience?  Yes.

Now why would she say one thing and bring in another thing that seems to be the opposite of what she wanted?

Because she has numerous unexplored thoughts about her past experiences with men, about what other women have told her is true about men, about what her parents have told her about relationships, about what she read in magazines about men and relationships, and so on. That sum total said: "I believe that I will manifest a man who is uncommitted to me."  You get in life ONLY WHAT YOU ASK FOR consciously or unconsciously or both.

A conscious being only manifests what s/he holds in mind as a single and unconfused thought.  Presence on a subject leads to clear thinking and conscious creation, not as a separated being, but as a being who is one with ALL.

Remember that it does not matter whether she WANTS uncommitted men and is committing self-sabotage or that she is ADVERSE to uncommitted men.  When she does her inner work, Jessica may find that she is the uncommitted one in relationships and simply matches up with the same energy, refusing to ever commit her whole heart to anyone.

Our world is simply a reflection of our consciousness. But BOTH an attachment AND an aversion will add to our total consciousness on the matter under consideration and lead to the CREATION of what we hold as our "net consciousness" or "net thinking." 

On the attachment side, if Jessica is attached to commitment, she will tend to push it away.  People who chase the opposite sex tend to accomplish the opposite.

On the other hand, if Jessica is adverse to the lack of commitment, she will tend to manifest uncommitted men to challenge that unexplored feeling.  If she is secretly adverse to commitment, but confused about whether she wants or does not want commitment herself, she may bring in a truly committed man and then reject him and the relationship once she has it within reach.  It is simple self-sabotage.  Refusing that which you ultimately want due to unexamined thoughts and feelings.  It could be due to the fear of failure of relationships.  There are many possible reasons for the mental pattern.  So a pattern appears in Jessica's life.  She never commits herself and feels it's the men who lack commitment.

If we are experiencing separation in a relationship or outside of one, it is because that is what we are holding in our consciousness.  Separation is the sum total of our thinking on that particular relationship or on having a relationship in general.  So separation is all we can manifest until we transcend our thoughts and feelings ABOUT separation.  Then we are FREE to allow what is it we TRULY want in life, not the junk our confused consciousness has been creating.  Only then can we make a clear assessment of the relationship.  Confusion comes from having conflicted thoughts that we have not bothered to write down or otherwise examine through a process of transcendence.

CONFUSION is the source of CREATION of what we don't want in life.  If you say "I do want to have a man who is committed to me," and you are also thinking "I don't want a man to be committed to me, because I'm not ready to commit myself," what is the Universe supposed to give you?  It gives you your NET THINKING as I call it.

To be more precise, you GET your net thinking AND feeling, because our feelings are the power behind our thoughts.  You cannot transcend a thought.  You CAN transcend a feeling.  Then the thought no longer binds you.  The thought and the pattern that we were previously stuck with lose all power.  We suddenly are unstuck and FREE to truly live and love!  We transcend our thoughts by transcending the feelings associated with them.  That is freedom.

When our results do not match our expectations, we simply go back to examine those thoughts and feelings that gave rise to the undesired experience.  We don't need to be a "Repeater."  You are NOT that as long as you choose freedom over the past.

When we address our thinking and feeling about a subject and transcend it using the Feeling Transcendence Process™, the Full Realization Process™ or any other process that allows for the transcendence of our FEELINGS underlying our thoughts, we find we are FREE TO HAVE WHAT WE SAY WE WANT and we STOP MANIFESTING WHAT WE DO NOT WANT.

It is no more complicated than that.  It is hard to face our thoughts and feelings at times. It can hurt to see our past with clear eyes.  It can even bring up grief.  I am prepared to support you in that, if you choose to do so with me.  But whatever you do, I would advise that you look at any pattern in your life (anything that has repeated even a SINGLE time) and examine it gently in terms of your associated thinking and feeling.  Transcend your "mental garbage" from the past and be free to manifest what you truly want.

This approach is one powerful way to stop being a "Repeater."  It is not our fault that we repeat a pattern.  If we repeat a pattern of non-loving interaction, it is because we had a moment of unconsciousness. SO WHAT?

We ALL have these moments until we don't.  Do NOT be critical of yourself for "not getting it before."  You were not supposed to get it before.  Otherwise you would have!  You did your best.  We have always done our best, even at the times our life seems most "sloppy" to us as we look back.

Be gentle with yourself.  You deserve that gentle love that accepts you the way you are right now.  Self-criticism is the ego trying to defeat us before we begin the work of holding the mirror up and truly seeing ourselves.

I guarantee that once you commit to holding the mirror up to see your unexamined thoughts and feelings, what you will find will be TRULY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.

You are THAT beautiful Being.

I have never held a grudge.  I've fortunately never been able to hold onto the past in regard to anyone who has ever been in my life in any capacity.  Why?  I am able to sense and connect to the Beingness of each person no matter what has happened between us.  It is a gift that we can all uncover.

You can access that forgiveness equally well.  Forgiveness is the nature of Beingness.  And we are that Beingness.  Forgiveness must also extend to us.  Forgiveness of ourselves often precedes our transformation to a higher place of consciousness and understanding.

The good news is this: You were born into this world with the innate ability to transcend your limiting thoughts and feelings.  That is "grace" operating, continually driving you and me back to our true, loving selves, emerging from our separation and hurt and uniting us in ONENESS with everyone.

So hold up the mirror and do it gently if you choose to be free.  Look for any repetition of a pattern one or more times in your experiences in any area of your life.  Those "repeater" patterns can be eliminated.  If you see even ONE REPETITION of ANYTHING in your life AND it is something that opposes what you truly want in life, you likely have a negative and limiting pattern operating.  It's fine.  Patterns do not define you any more than a computer is defined by a program operating in it.  You eliminate the program from the computer and suddenly the computer lives a happy life.  The prior program is GONE.  My advanced pattern transcendence methods, which I can teach you, remove these patterns completely.  I know this by direct experience with my own consciousness and by working with many others.  No one needs to be subject to patterns from the past.

Whatever method you bring to bear on "Repeater" patterns, you can be done with them.  Someone close to me pointed out that how you get there is not the key.  It isn't.  It is the operation of our free will to raise our consciousness that is most important.  It is our choice to be free or bound to our imagined past and our imagined future.  Whether I work with you directly or not does not matter, although I am available to you. You have all my love, and I support you in your newly found Freedom.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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Children on Halloween

I wanted to comment around Halloween on the beauty of children and what they teach us about Presence. Children are one of the greatest gifts to adults, because they repeatedly demonstrate true spontaneity and joy.

From Beingness or Presence comes spontaneity, because Beingness is just being itself. When a child is simply being what the child is in the moment, he or she does not look around for approval from others.  There are no games at all.  Well, there is one, and that is simply the game being played!

Children do of course break away from their sense of Presence at times, but they often return to Presence much more quickly than adults, because of their propensity to forgive more quickly.

If you live in the moment, why would you hold a grudge against Bobby who just threw a ball that hit you in the head or from Jessica who squirted you in the face with a water gun? There could be an initial reaction, but the spontaneity of a child quickly returns him or her to simply being Present with his or her friends. When a child becomes upset, there is often a very natural expression of the feeling that arises in the moment followed by transcendence and forgiveness. It's a beautiful thing. Children prove that presence is a natural phenomenon.

Beingness is spontaneously joyous.  Do you know of an adult that would come jumping across the room and flail over your body as if you were a mattress while giggling?  Fortunately, some adults do things like that, but my last experience of that was with a beautiful young boy who exhibited just this sort of love and spontaneity.  These moments are precious because they ARE presence itself revealing itself to us.  His presence was a great gift.  The expression of joy by a little boy connects you with your own joy and sense of Being. It is what every parent knows to be priceless.  It is Beingness manifesting.  When you see it and feel it, you connect with your true self.

So on Halloween, you may want to take the time to appreciate the smiles of the children that come to your house if you are so lucky. Notice the beaming smiles of Beingness on your doorstep. Children are our guides asking us to love and to live in presence with them.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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True Love

What is true love? It's not actually the romantic love that is generally depicted in movies. True love is unconditional love. But what does unconditional love "feel like?"

By definition, we must love without conditions. Now this may be the hard part for the ego. To experience true love, we need to have the same feeling and depth of love for everyone. This has nothing to do with special aspects of your personal relationships with your mate, your children, your personal friends, or your business partners.  Special aspects would include making love with your significant other, spending time raising your children, loaning property to a friend or going over to their house for dinner, and so on.

That said, when you are unconditionally loving:

You feel the same degree of love for every child as you feel for your own child.

You feel the same degree of love for every woman as you feel for your own sister.

You feel the same degree of love for every man as you feel for your own brother.

You feel the same degree of love for everyone as you feel for your own best friend.

You love every child, woman, and man equally.

You love yourself as much as you love everyone else.

No, we are not about to leave YOU out of it. YOU deserve love equally to all those you love.

The ego may immediately find objections. Those objections separate us from true love.

If we watch for our resistance to loving everyone equally, we will expand our consciousness and we become a great blessing to everyone we meet, greeting them with an unconditionally loving consciousness.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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When you act in a non-loving way, how can you turn it around and experience forgiveness?

An act of "bad" behavior can turn to "good" when turned around.

As an example, say you misbehave in some way in regard to another person, and say or do something you regret. The Universe in the form of that other person will often "call you" on your negativity, right?

And then what happens? You either notice that they are right, and in fact you have overstepped in an instance of poor behavior, or you bury your head in the sand, defensively denying any truth in what they are telling you.

We have the choice to go UP or DOWN in life in the moment that we respond to the consequences of our transgression. When we redirect our attention to Presence with the issue at hand, we will do the right thing, say the right thing, and allow for the highest good to flow from our transgression whether the other person is able to forgive us at that point or not.

In fact, the person we offended may or may not decide to forgive us. It is not our business whether they do or don't do so. Attempting to "get forgiveness from them" would just be an act of attempting to control that person. We need to work within ourselves to find forgiveness. That's where it ultimately arises.

Jesus forgave murderers even though they were NOT forgiven by men and women who simply were unable to forgive. They were in judgment. So in the same way, YOUR forgiveness does not depend on what the other person does. If they choose to remain in judgment, what would you do?

You are responsible for your own forgiveness whether or not it involves specific actions on your part to make things right.

You must make things right by transcending your feelings about the event INSIDE regardless of all actions and speech OUTSIDE.

If we do our own internal work while dropping any tendency for self-beating, which only further augments our egos, we will find peace on the matter with or without the other person's forgiveness. In the end, they will come to forgiveness only when we have. They may not, but at least WE are not in the way.

We take responsibility for the thoughts and feelings within us that gave rise to our poor choice of words or action and find that forgiveness does follow our transcendence.

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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Surprises Flow from the Nature of Presence

I like to write about how Presence appears in life, what it looks like and feels like, so here is my take on how surprises flow from the nature of Presence through us to others.

Surprises are something that we all seem to enjoy. 

Why is that?  It is because surprises are unexpected, which means that from the viewpoint of the person who is joyfully surprised, they had no expectation that what you brought to them or did for them or said to them was coming.

Why do surprises flow from the nature of Presence?  Because Presence is NOW.  Presence is spontaneous and not busy evaluating itself, others, or the world.  Presence is just spontaneously experiencing life waiting to SURPRISE AND BE SURPRISED by its beauty.

So what about the one who is the immediate source of the surprise?  Well, to truly create surprise, it is best if you are surprised by it too.  In other words, when the idea comes to you to do something nice and unexpected for someone, just let it happen through you.  Just be the vehicle through which a surprise appears.  Become the delivery vehicle of happiness.

And expect nothing.  If you expect something in return for your surprise, it's no longer a surprise for both of you.  It's no longer truly spontaneous. 

Now I'll agree that you can start by consciously wanting to surprise someone you care about, but then try to learn to take the spontaneous cues and even the unknowing hints others drop and turn them into surprises.  They are hints when you are listening; they are missed, when you are not.

The way you feel when you deliver a surprise from Presence is joyous.  You feel as if you just let it happen and it happened to happen through YOU.

Surprise is also critical to business success.  People you do business with love surprises too. 

I remember how impressed I was that a particular medical group sent our office cookies.  The size of the gesture does not have to be great; the love behind it does.  Only a few groups made that effort.  Those were the ones who understood how much we were doing for them and knew how much they wanted to simply surprise and thank us for making their professional lives easier.

You can surprise someone even with a surprisingly positive comment.  Or with a surprising gift.  Or by offering help to someone who is moving. 

Surprises need not be purchased.  A surprise kiss, a surprise hug, a surprise offer of help, a surprise visit to the playground (who knows it might even work for your significant other if you go on the swings together), a surprise offer to go for a walk with a friend - how much do those cost?

And by the way, don't give advanced notice of your surprise.  Don't call ahead or drop any hints.  It's a surprise!

Presence is spontaneous and surprising and willing to be surprised.  If you do not see the spontaneity of surprise arising in your personal, work, and family relationships, you have room for a SURPRISE!!!

Email me back at David@FullyRealized.com and let me know how this worked for you in your life.  I'll share stories from those who would like to help others by sharing their personal moments of Presence.  You may do so anonymously if you like.

May your life be full of joyous surprises, both given and received!

Would you choose to live in presence today?

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The End of Suffering and the Source of Happiness

To the extent that we feel we need approval from others and the world, to the extent to which we feel we must control the world, and to the extent to which we feel we need to be safe from the world, we will suffer. Those beliefs cause our suffering.

To the extent that we feel loved and the ability to give love, to the extent that we feel that we do not need to take control, but can simply live our lives from open and giving hearts, and to the extent that we feel we are safe, non-reactive, and eternal, to that extent we will experience the freedom and the happiness that is our natural state of being.


On Close Personal and Business Relationships: Are You "Making a Deal" or Being Loving Toward the Other Person and Yourself?

When you meet someone or are considering a business partnership with someone, you are allowing an "energy" into your life to raise your consciousness to the next level.  

Be patient and notice what is there.  Are they loving?  Do they love you as you are or do they seek to change you?  Do you love them as they are or do you seek to change them?  It goes both ways and these two questions are perhaps the most important questions of all.

For business relationships you could use the words "Do they see things the way you do or do you seek to change them?" "Do they seek to change you?"

People do change, but they do so on their own ultimately and they may never change for you in particular or ever in their lifetime.  They may be stuck and unable to see they are hiding behind deeply engrained patterns of limitation. 

Before you decide you will "rescue them," as mentioned in my prior note below, realize that if you seek to change them, they will feel that as non-loving.  It will likely cause conflict between the two of you.

You say "But I do care for them or enjoy doing business with them even though there are things I do not like about them now."  First, be sure of that.  Be sure you are not accepting a mixture of things you like and compromising the things you do not like to "make the deal happen." 

In personal relationships, are you trading off enjoying someone's company and a physical relationship for a real lack of commitment to a relationship by the other person?  If so, you've made a deal.  We often pay for those deals through our own suffering once things fall apart.

If you make a deal that compromises "who you are," you may be disappointed down the line when you finally see you cannot change that which you do not like about the other person and that they are unwilling to change.  This goes for personal and work relationships alike.  Some could decide to change for sure.  We like to hope and wait for the best, but will it?  That is up to them, not you. 

In close business and personal relationships particularly, your ability to tolerate things "you do not like" in the other may give way to discontent down the line.  Discontent then gives rise to conflict and conflict may give rise to divorce or the dissolution of a business partnership.

You may be able to tolerate a big difference in opinion in someone who buys goods from you.  That may not be true if you provide services that require a lot of interaction with the client, and it also unlikely to be true for your close personal relationships.

Do you need to ask someone you are dating if they like shooting deer in the Fall?  You had better ask then.  Do you need to ask a potential business partner if they are willing to travel a lot as the business grows?  You had better ask then.

So the point is that you need to ask what is important to you BEFORE you solidify a relationship or make an important commitment.  So many people fail to "observe with open eyes" or ask the THEIR important questions with an open heart prior to moving forward.  They gloss over their true feelings and decide to make a "deal."

If it "does not feel right," respect that and look deeper to see why.  See if you truly resonate with the other person's views and with what they want in a life with you or in a business relationship.  If not, you need to move on and not spend time attempting to mold the other into the form you want them.

Move forward only with those people who resonate with you in all the important areas of life.  It has been said "Keep holy company."  You need to determine what that is for you.

This does not mean the other person's viewpoint is "wrong."  Your own values may be upside down rather than theirs, but how will it help them if you are not honest about what you want, even if you are one of the most materialistic people on the planet? 

That works both ways.  You are not "wrong" and they are not "wrong."  The two of you are just not in resonance.

Don't attempt to blame someone for being what they are.  They are "doing what they are doing."   It may not seem right, but you cannot force change on them. 

Your differing point of view just means you see life differently.  You may expect more of yourself than they do, but you'll have to accept what they want NOW is all they want NOW. 

If you look at the start to be sure that "resonance of Being" with the other is there, it's far easier than trying to "fix the other" after the fact when they don't share your point of view.  And it's far easier on both of you to end a relationship earlier than it is to do it later.

Finally, a note for those who "are already committed."  And this applies equally to those who are unable to commit to anyone.  Look at your past results.  Have you been able to commit to personal relationships or not?  If you haven't or if you have a pattern of "leaving relationships" don't use the above "resonance seeking process" to "cop out."  If you have patterns operating in you that are causing separation between you and the one you say or said you loved, please be willing to look at yourself and not write it all off to "Well, we just don't or didn't resonate! Too bad."

Maybe you would resonate if you decided to be more loving.  So decide to look at your own anger and frustration, your own feelings of lack, your own self-imposed limitations, before giving up.  Start with yourself.  Start with your own consciousness.  Having done all that "work" on yourself, if you find yourself in a loving space without fear or attachment, decide what you will then do from that place of peace.

If you are fearful or attached, find a way to get past that whether it is through the methods I teach or another approach, and then decide what you will do about your relationship. 

If you do not open your heart before you leave a relationship, either business or personal, you will survive of course, but you may miss a great opportunity for love right where you are now or a great business partnership.

I am not telling you to regret errors.  I'm saying be present with what you have before you now and decide with an open heart, not one burdened by limiting patterns.  You will know what those limiting patterns are by looking at yourself or by asking someone else to point them out to you if you are open to doing "your work."  You do the best you can.  That is all anyone can expect. 

In 10 years, you may see that "I could have stayed and loved," but now you can't.  Or in 10 years you may say, "I should have left 10 years earlier."   Just do your best to decide about any relationship from presence, which means from love.

And if you are the one left behind while the other leaves with a closed heart or in lust?  Again it helps to know that you cannot ultimately fix the other.  You must find a way to love them whatever they do unconsciously as well as consciously.  Allow them to find their own way back to conscious presence.

I "get" that this can be a difficult process, even painful.  It passes when you bring your awareness to it.  I know that by direct experience, which is the way you will know it equally.

I wish you all the love in the world.

Feel free to send comments and questions to my email address on the homepage and indicate if you are OK to share that here. You can also "like" my FaceBook page Live In Presence and enter comments once you've "liked" the page.  (see below to "like" it!)

When You Feel Like Fixing the One You Say You Love

When you ask someone for permission to offer help, whether it is your child or your significant other or a complete stranger, you are allowing them their "Beingness."  You are respecting their right to choose or reject what it is you offer.  If you do not do that, you are sending the message "You are not whole the way you are, and I'm going to fix you whether you want to be fixed or not." 

And why would you give something that was being rejected?  That satisfies the ego's interest to seek control over others. But it does not work and it angers the person you say you love and frustrates you when you do it.  Even if it "works," they may resent you. 

So when you are lacking presence by seeking to fix someone else and are not OK with what they are doing, first get to a place of presence by whatever method you choose.  Drop your resistance to what they are doing.  Resistance is non-love.  You love them first and accept that they are "doing what they are doing" and that you may or may not be able to help them change it.  At the same time, you move out of harms way if needed, because you must love yourself too.

 Once present, you will be unconditionally loving of the other person and accepting of whatever decision they make in regard to your "offer to help."  You will know that "what they need help with" is just a temporary manifestation in their life and consciousness and this too shall pass.  You are there to give help, support and love to them ONLY IF they wish to accept it from you, while loving yourself and respecting your own right to be loved.

Without permission, helping is "fixing" energy.  It is your energy of "wanting to fix" against an energy of "not wanting to be fixed" if they are not ready and willing.

In summary, consider dropping the push in you that needs to help.  Become present and then compassionately listen to the one you say you love, offering help only after asking permission.

When you offer your help to someone, ask their permission first before telling them anything about their consciousness.  Otherwise you and they may miss a great opportunity for growth together.

Jack Canfield posted this David Frost quote on his FaceBook Page today: ‎"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally." - David Frost

Here is my take on it: I believe that David Frost's advice works because you cannot be in alignment or LOVE that which you are bad at. This strategy matches up your gifts with the needs of the Universe, which when met, results in abundance. It is effortless that way and feels "hard" when you do it intellectually as in "What should I do? Let me figure out what I love logically." That is the most common error people make in connecting with their highest good in life. They choose from their mind, not their heart.

"Forgive them for they know not what they do."  One of the most powerful quotes Jesus made in that it allows for conscious discrimination.  If you react to someone, you are making a claim that they know better.  They don't.  They are doing their best.  Although they will in the end be held accountable for what they've done, the fact is that they are unconscious.  For what conscious person would hurt another?  Forgiving them means transcending your aversion to them/your hatred of them.  Do it for yourself.  If they eventually understand what they have done by becoming conscious, that will be a bonus.

When you feel you have been "pulled out" of presence, be gentle on yourself. It was supposed to happen. It is due to some energy about something that you were simply unaware of until the moment you felt that "pull." When it happens, just decide CONSCIOUSLY to return your attention to presence. And you are back, being yourself.

Want to get along better with people? Allow them to be the way they are. When we resist the way someone is, even if their behavior is objectionable to most, we are communicating resistance to them. The message is most bluntly put: "I hate you, now change." That'll work! NOT!

 "Being your true self" requires that you allow others to be what they are in this moment, not once they've changed.  If you think they need your help BEFORE your love, you are not Present. Get quiet. Love them as they are. And THEN see if they want to change or not. If not, you are still stuck with allowing them to be the way they are! So you may as well start by loving them NOW. 

The sense of your existence will never leave you, no matter how often and how long you are absent from your life. That is your "eternality."

Don't seek a new "state" to replace an old "state." What does that mean? Many try to "feel good" because they "feel bad." In Presence, feeling good comes naturally, because it's the real you coming forth. If you think you have to "do this" or "get that" to "feel happy," what you will do is bounce like a yo-yo from feeling sad to glad to sad to glad. Exhausting isn't it?

In Presence you are not doing any process, thinking positive thoughts, saying positive affirmations, seeking or acquiring any state, or focusing on feeling wonderful, but rather, you are just being you or "Presence" itself. Those other things are absolutely fine and may be going on while you remain present, but they are not the essence of you. They come and go, and you do not!

Instead of "being something," just be what you truly are - be and live a life in presence. I have an example of that. People interesting in investing tell me "I'm a Bull" or "I'm a Bear." That is a good way to be pulled by your emotions into losing investments. Instead of being either Bull or Bear, why not just Be. From there your abundance will follow.


Feel free to send questions or comments about the general process of establishing Presence in your life using the contact box below.  You can subscribe to my email newsletter list called "Questions of Consciousness™" by entering your email address (which will be kept private) in the box near the top of this page.  Please indicate how you would like your name to be shown or not shown in the newsletter or on the blog when I respond to you, should you submit a question.  You can also enter comments on the Live In Presence™ page on FaceBook (see below). 


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